When we talk about falling in love, it is usually in relation to romantic interests. We rarely consider the idea of falling in love within the context of friendships.
Friendships are often perceived as something that simply happens to us, unlike romantic relationships, which we believe require effort and a bit of luck to find.
However, Diaka, through the short story Silence in her debut collection Someone Birthed Them Broken, explores the romance of friendships and causes us to rethink our relationships with our friends. She forces us to see friendships as relationships that require effort, showing that falling in love happens in friendships, too, and it happens to us every day, though we often fail to recognize it.
In Silence, Deanna meets Amoafoa in one of the most chaotic places in Ghana—the passport office. Amoafoa offers Deanna her wig to wear, as the passport office had turned her away because of her brown wig.
This unprecedented act of generosity, removing her wig for another person, was thought by Deanna to be one of those gestures that you receive from kind strangers, and that was what Amoafoa was only going to be to her: a kind stranger.
However, Amoafoa was determined to have Deanna as a friend. She offered to drop her off even though her house was completely out of Amoafoa’s way. They planned dates and got to know each other. Amoafoa fell in love with Deanna at first sight, and for Deanna, it took a bit of time for her to fall in love with Amoafoa.
At some point, she even admitted that she was going to love Amoafoa forever—this was when she gifted her the ring that she wanted for her birthday.
They didn't just exchange pleasantries but nurtured their friendship with intention. Their friendship required wooing, gifting, and falling in love, much like a romantic relationship.
Diaka emphasizes that by opening our lives to our friends, we forge a togetherness and a wholeness. Friends become our better halves, people we create our lives with, and a huge part of this life, potentially forever.
That is why when these friendships fracture, it feels like a piece of us has left. When Amoafoa and Deanna's friendship fractured, both could see it and feel it. The cracks became wider until a chasm formed.
Told from both perspectives, the effects of their fractured relationship were palpable. They had been so intertwined in each other's lives and futures that when the friendship became stale, it left a dull ache. They had moved on quietly with their lives, but both still yearned for each other.
Deanna, despite having her own family, never felt whole without Amoafoa. She imagined herself at key moments in Amoafoa's life, even her wedding, fantasizing about the role she would have played.
Although their friendship started with intention, as the story progresses and their friendship fractures, it becomes clear how friendships, too, need the care and attention we give to our romantic lovers.
Yao, Deanna’s husband, asks Deanna an important question that exposes how much grace we do not give to our friends. He points out that he has his flaws that she deals with and that she is softer with him than she is with Amoafoa. Although she tells Amoafoa the truth, it doesn't always have to be surrounded with urgency.
The lesson here is that if we are accommodating of the lovers in our lives, then we should be able to extend the same, if not more, grace to our friends.
In Someone Birthed Them Broken, Diaka illustrates how ego can destroy friendships just as it does romantic relationships. Even though Deanna and Amoafoa were no longer together, they never truly stopped thinking about each other.
Friendships, much like romantic relationships, require nurturing, effort, and sometimes, the overcoming of personal pride to prevent them from fracturing.
This story is also proof that we fall in love with our friends even though we do not pay attention, we fall in love too and just like lovers they are a part of our lives and forevers and require intentionality and effort to keep the love moving.
