“What if the connection, at the root of our existence, is, in fact, a connection and a severance? How does a sense of self form in relation to connections that hold within them such intensive ruptures and slides? How might one redefine family in such a way that severance can live with, not against, the formation of emotional connection?”
These questions asked in the book's description drew me to it. I have, more than once, found myself either thinking or asking myself (or others) some of these questions—in one form or another.
RECURRENT, by Darla Mottram, is an autobiographical poetry collection about the author’s childhood and life. It captures the “difficult” childhood she had—her mother’s constant abuse of drugs, her father’s negligence (even locking her up once), abuse from her father’s friend, going in and out of foster homes, her mother’s demise, among others.
From her accounts, readers see how she navigates all these difficult moments and how those experiences shaped her. All that is delivered through carefully layered verses.
RECURRENT starts with a “timeline,” which, despite being compressed, provides a solid context of the writer’s life and prepares the reader for what to expect.
With each poem, Mottram paints a vivid picture with words, capturing the details of her childhood—how it feels to live with people who are not your biological parents, to be in foster homes, to be abused, and to hear about your parent’s overdose.
I enjoyed the use of diverse poetic forms and styles. They felt deliberate, and I am a sucker for intentional poetry.
One thing worth noting is the duality expressed in the poems. Mottram constantly used diction like “halve,” "halved,” “two selves,” "dividing,” and others. I feel they tie everything together given the context and the kind of life she lived, constantly wanting to be of a different life or sometimes being different selves of herself.
Also, the addition of old pictures, handwritten letters, pages of court orders, adoption papers, etc., adds a layer of realism to the narrative in RECURRENT.
My only reservation, though, is that it seems some of the forms and styles used in some of the poems appeared forced. They seemed like paragraphs forced into stanzas. I don't know if that was the point or if it was deliberate, but it was glaring to me.
I recommend this collection. However, before you pick it up, be aware of some of its triggering themes.
Some of my favorite poems were;
