When Zahra first cut me out of her life, I had no idea what was happening. I didn’t understand why she’d stopped eating lunch with me, didn’t understand why she’d stopped returning my calls. She plucked me from her tree of life with such efficiency I didn’t even realize what happened until I hit the ground. After that, I let her go. I made no demands, insisted on no explanations. Once I understood that she’d ejected me without so much as a goodbye, I’d not possessed the self-hatred necessary to beg her to stick around. Instead, I grieved quietly—in the privacy of my bedroom, on the shower.
We talk a lot about broken hearts, but no one ever talks about the kind of broken heart you experience when your friend leaves, especially that friend who was a huge part of your life.
The pain, the silence, the removal, and the absence. It’s the kind of pain you aren’t able to explain, and you can’t even talk to anyone about it because they might not get it. You are left alone with this dull ache that is almost consuming you, and you can’t even get rid of it.
This kind of pain is permanent. No matter how many friends you make, the void is still there, wide and staring at you. Reminding you each time that someone you loved lived here.
Friendship breakups, in my opinion, are the worst kind of breakup anyone can ever feel. An Emotion of Great Delight reminds me a lot about them, and Shadi’s friendship journey with Zahra in this book mirrors this sentiment.
Somehow, Shadi’s journey of dealing with a broken heart from her friend provides solace to those who have faced similar losses. The story offers a sense of companionship in pain, it shows readers that they are not alone in their grief. Knowing that someone else, even a fictional character, has experienced this pain can be comforting.
I reread it a lot because some days, I want to soak myself up in Shadi’s pain; it’s solace to me. I wonder if there is space in therapy for this kind of pain, confusion, and frustration. I wonder if there is space in this life to grieve our friends who haven’t left this world but have left our lives and have become familiar strangers. I wonder if there is space in people's lives to accommodate such pain on behalf of people suffering friendship breakups.
I think of Shadi and Zahra’s friendship a lot. Zahra was really mean to Shadi even during their friendship, but that did not in any way impact how she felt when Zahra stopped talking to her. She still missed her, she still wanted her, and most of all, she still loved her, even in her imperfections. I wonder if the burden Shadi carried would have been easier if Zahra had been around to carry it with her or just be present with her while she dealt with what her family had become.
An Emotion of Great Delight powerfully reminds us of the importance of recognizing and validating the pain of friendship breakups.
Rereading this book has been a journey of reflection and healing for me. It resonates deeply with my own experiences, and it also invites readers to reflect on their own experiences.
It’s also a reminder that it is okay to grieve our failed friendships. It is okay because they were people we loved and built our lives and future with in mind.
This you for this important reflection.
For me I ended some friends because sometimes friendship love is not just enough to make you stay in them but it’s helpful also to know when to exit.
I hope we all heal from these heartbreak soon.
I hope we all heal from the gaping hole that threatens to consume us. Sometimes we need to quietly close the door to some friendships. It does not mean it would hurt less. You are right about love not being enough to sustain a relationship, it is important that we work hard to maintain it and it applies both ways. It is also important to know when to stop and quietly close that door. We can't always hang unto things that don't want us. I guess life is like that sometimes we walk with bleeding hearts all the time hoping for healing, kindness and grace. Thank you for reading and leaving a message for me. Thank you.