Tomorrow I Become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen

Many men still deem their families incomplete without a male child, and I cannot grasp the concept

After reading Buchi Emecheta’s books and Olisakwe’s Ogadinma, you will clearly understand why reading Aiwonse only makes you sad and weak. Similar plot lines with similar struggles only tell you one thing- over the years, women’s stories have not improved, and we need to do better for our daughters. 

Tomorrow I Become a Woman is a story of the burden of womanhood and women’s choices to conform to society’s narratives. 

It is loosely based on stories of real women known to the author. The book explores the dynamics of mother and daughter relationships, women’s friendships, and complicated love stories. 

Uju, a young university student wants more for herself; she wants to further her education, work, and be someone beneficial in society. She likes Akin, her lecturer but can’t take him home to her tired parents because of tribal differences. Subsequently, she meets Gozie, the lead singer in her friend’s church. To get her mother to stop bugging her about marriage, she hints that she’s seeing a man- Gozie. This simple act hers begins a cycle of events that will make anyone question themselves. 

I imagine a situation where Uju’s mother was a gentle listener and a friend to her daughter; she would never have ended up with Gozie. She would have never been pressured to bring a boy home or accept his proposal. And, she won’t have been told to be grateful to Gozie for marrying her, and maybe she would have had the courage to bring Akin home. 

I could swear Uju’s mother hated her because what kind of parent who loves their child would behave like this?

But I have to be fair, and to be fair is to be gentle in my judgment of Uju’s mother. Whatever she did, she did from a place of love, and that was the only way she knew how. She came from parents who married her to a total stranger. All she knew was how to slave herself away to please a man; she also endured years of abuse from her unkind husband, who changed eventually. So she believed in change and Gozie’s ability to change if Uju stayed, so I will not judge her harshly.

The deal breaker for me was Gozie almost killing their daughter Ego and abandoning her to die. He was such a mean man, a man made into a god by the women in his life. 

Let’s talk about the hunt for a male child. It’s real even in today’s world. Many men still deem their families incomplete without a male child, and I cannot grasp the concept because the message it sends is that girls are half-human beings who don’t belong to their families but are raised to be wives and mothers. This narrative is very harmful to families and even children.

This book explores relevant themes in today’s world and is a must-read for everyone. 

I enjoyed reading this book so much and can’t be the only one who smiled anytime I read “smallie.” Akin is such a beautiful and patient soul, and I’m happy he was there when Uju finally took her life into her hands. 

I recommend this book with the gods in my village backing me.