Movie Review: Ijakumo: The Born Again Stripper

The title is rather misleading as the storyline has little to do with either the stripper or the born-again. Instead, it should have been named Ashabi’s Revenge.

Beware! Spoilers Abound!

The fact that the movie has no redeeming quality is putting it mildly, as it has the wackiest storyline in the history of plots. The title is rather misleading as the storyline has little to do with either the stripper or the born-again. Instead, it should have been named Ashabi’s Revenge.

The stripper and the born-again who sings in the church are two different people; Mary and Sharon are just identical twins. Pastor Jide sends money to Mary and teases her about being Sharon, with the latter accepting the misidentification with a smile while not having the slightest idea who the hell Sharon is.

How?

Unanswered Questions and Gaping Plotholes

In the flashback scene, the rich Igbo man just, from nowhere, blurts out that he’s an organ harvester, and the next thing our protagonist does is beg the organ harvester to open a church for him because he can preach. Does that happen anywhere?

And what’s with the inconsistent accent on Michael Godson? Is it possible to force an Igbo accent? Looks like an Ameri-Igbo accent. Then, there’s Ashabi’s father’s drum… what’s the significance of the drum? I thought the drum would have a huge role later in the movie…

Many things annoyed me in this movie, but one thing that stands out is the syndicate’s role. What is their role? What is their operation? How are they benefitting from Jide? What’s with the candles and the King of Boys-ish setting? Why should a god be on the run from the police? I mean, Bimbo Akintola is a fantastic actor, but why keep a stoic face all through her scenes?

Since the Babalawo from Ife gave Jide powers, why does he need the syndicate again? And where does the issue of liver and kidney problems for the syndicate come from? One minute they are shouting at Jide for spending too much; the next minute, they are dying of unnamed and strange diseases.

How?

And Ashabi’s hair… I mean, it’s faux locs; why make it so long? Is that even necessary? Even the Igbo Ezi Nwanyi’s hair isn’t as long!

Ashabi grows up a girl in love, ready to do anything for her man. She didn’t have the kind of jazz to teleport at will and stop bullets 20 years ago. She just wants to love her man and have his baby, but 20 years later, she sports insanely long faux locs and voodoo strong enough to give Lalude and Fadeyi Oloro a run for their money. And despite all this power, she still has to hire a stripper to help with her cause instead of just teleporting into the place to steal the thumb drive. Then, the age difference between Ashabi and Jide is so obvious. I mean, Toyin Abraham is clearly older than Kunle Remi. Is that supposed to be clever casting?

Unimpressive effects

The swollen eye makeup on Mary is so fake, and the fight scenes are cringe-worthy. I mean, Jide and Wale are just regular guys from the streets of Abeokuta. How do they learn how to fight hefty mercenaries? And what’s with Eso Dike and turtlenecks that don’t fit?

The scene in the church where Mary/Sharon was naked and twerking… was that necessary? Then, were the more raunchy scenes between Jide and Sharon necessary too? And what was with that sci-fi plot hole? How is it possible to hack a complex encrypted lock like that in minutes in a workstation that looks like the desktop of a 90s music producer?

Rate us small, na!

Even more unimpressive storytelling

Let’s get on to the deeper things… Ashabi doesn’t have a problem with Jide, a ‘Man of God’, hobnobbing with questionable characters and using the church to scam the public, and yet she gets angry when he cuts her off and almost kills her with her baby.

Jide has no redeeming qualities, going from worse to worst and getting increasingly desperate as the movie’s plot thickens. His predictable death did not give me the catharsis I needed to feel. I thought we were done with one-dimensional characters in Nollywood! I thought we agreed that characters would have some good and evil in them! Jide had none.

As they say, art mirrors life. Can we say that this is what’s happening in Christendom these days? Can we say that these Pentecostal churches with mega auditoriums and thousands of members are kind of linked to the underworld? Is there not supposed to be a reaction from the Christian community to this movie, or have we accepted these things as normal?

Have we accepted that a high-profile pastor with links to a syndicate into organ harvesting can visit a strip club and cheat on his wife, using the Holy Spirit to lie at will? Or are we just tired of fighting?

We can’t win the war on capitalism!

Final Thoughts

Despite the movie’s fantastic cast and a story with lots of potential, they still managed to mess it up. I hope Toyin Abraham does better with subsequent productions. Nevertheless, this was way better than the Alakada nonsense she was doing before this.

Cast members include Kunle Remi, who performed exceedingly well and gave it his best shot, regardless. Others include Toyin Abraham, Lolade Okusanya, Bimbo Akintola, Antar Laniyan, Eso Dike, Ganiu’ Alapinni’ Nofiu, Olumide Oworu, Debbie Shokoya, Tomiwa Tegbe, Lillian Afegbai, Kola Ajeyemi, Segun Arinze, Chris Ihehuwa, Michael Godson, Fatai ‘Lalude’ Odua, Anto, Afeez Eniola, Funky Mallam amongst others.

In summary, the movie looks like a disjointed array of skits and could have been way better than this if only they employed the services of a proper scriptwriter. It has no rewatch quality.