We Were Girls Once by Aiwanose Odafen

If you liked Dele Weds Destiny, then you’ll love We Were Girls Once. Aiwanose is a wonderful and insightful writer, and I look forward to reading more of her works.

We Were Girls Once delves into the lives of three best friends brought together by their mothers, who then drift apart and lead unsatisfying lives, their long-distance friendship the only lifeline they hold on to.

The themes revolve around offense, grief, friendship, poor father figures reminiscent of that time, a docile/bullying mother, etc.

The Theme of Friendship

This book really drives home the value of friendship; there’s a line that says that we spend so much time looking for romance and romantic relationships that we forget that friends are the ones who prepare us for love. 

Watching the three main characters push through life with each other made me miss my friends. I realized that just like them, life (and Nigeria) does pull friends apart. However, friendship’s redemptive power can be quite the shelter you need. 

Writing and Storytelling

While you cannot fault Aiwanose’s plot and character development, which are good 9 out of 10, her overall rating for this book would be 6 out of 10. 

Still, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was a follow-up to her debut novel Tomorrow I Become a Woman, which I thoroughly enjoyed. However, the thing about second releases is overly high expectations, and don’t get me wrong, We Were Girls Once is a good book; it just had a lot of, how do I say this, unfulfilling chapters, especially at the beginning.

Also, the timelines are not so clear from Ego’s POV.

I began to enjoy this book more from Eriife’s perspective; it’s more realistic and relatable. Also, personality-wise, she’s more my person. Her perspective is the most patriotic, and it made me more engaged, wondering why the author saved the best for last.

Men like Soye who use and see their wives/women only as tools to further their ambitions and make them feel like baby boys = 💩

Sachet Economics was the most poignant chapter: The lady’s phrase genuinely drives home the point: ‘Is Nigeria that hard?’

The answer is a resounding yes.

Culture and Christianity

We Were Girls Once has a heavy Western influence. If you read the acknowledgments, you will see that all the people involved in the actual publishing of the book might not have been remotely African.

This book raises the crucial question of why our social media and so-called influencers are heavily politicized and used as tools to peddle or defend their benefactors. This further begs the question of how we manage to we stomach the hypocrisy.

Kudos to Nigerians for their extraordinary coping mechanisms.

Does anyone find it weird the way Christianity is portrayed in African lit? At first, it was a thing; I won’t lie; I was happy that they were calling out these rotten people masquerading as pastors. But over time, it seems like they’ve convicted the entire religion of the same crime.

If we continue to write about it without full representation, people will begin to take it as truth. Christianity in Nigeria has good aspects, and that should be shown in our books.

Wrapping Up

One thing I really love about Aiwanose is that she’s a happily-ever-after person; I know one person must die in the book, but she always finds a way to “settle” her characters at the end.

I think she understands that Nigeria is difficult, and we need to see people win or survive the system; her books confront problems and offer hope.

If you liked Dele Weds Destiny, then you’ll love We Were Girls Once. Aiwanose is a wonderful and insightful writer, and I look forward to reading more of her works.